


replicant

by tokiwas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Historical References, Spoilers, death mention, divorce mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25877032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokiwas/pseuds/tokiwas
Summary: to inherit a name is to inherit its history.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 35





	replicant

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday, wakatoshi! 
> 
> title taken from "replicant" by yorushika
> 
> there are spoilers up to end of the series, so tread with caution!

When Wakatoshi is thirteen, he is called “Ushiwaka” by another player.

It sounds like a butchering of his name. Ushijima, the name of his mother’s family, and Wakatoshi, the name his father bestowed upon him, meshed together into a singular word.

Of course, Wakatoshi is not foolish enough to think that is all there is to the nickname. When he was a young boy, he had sat upon his father’s shoulders, and as they had crossed a long, wide bridge, his father had sang to him the tale of Ushiwaka and Benkei.

From Kurama Temple, to Gojo Bridge; to Ichi-no-Tani, and Dan-no-Ura; to the barrier at Ataka, and to Komorogawa. Wakatoshi knows of the legend of Ushiwakamaru, of Shana-Ou, of Kurou Yoshitsune. The entire country does.

“Isn’t it like a compliment?” someone had said to him once. “You’re compared to one of the most famous people in history!”

Ushiwakamaru is considered a legend. There are many tales about him, part-myth and part-history, and sometimes, they are so tightly interwoven that it is almost impossible to separate the two.

But regardless of fact or fiction, the outcome is the same – Minamoto no Yoshitsune was betrayed by those he had trusted, forced into exile, and was left with no choice but to die.

There is no compliment about it. Wakatoshi dislikes the nickname “Ushiwaka”.

**

Whether or not Wakatoshi likes his nickname, everyone calls him that, and so it is a minor inconvenience he learns to live with.

“Ushiwaka,” the Miya twins call him, with interested eyes.

“Ushiwaka- _chan_ ,” Oikawa Tohru calls him, spite lacing every syllable.

“Tohoku’s Ushiwaka,” the magazine reads, in an article about up-and-coming players.

“ _It is easy to recognise Yoshitsune_ ,” Wakatoshi reads in a book. “ _He is short, with teeth that stick out_.”

The name _Ushiwaka_ grows into a title more than a nickname, a crown on his head, and to inherit a name means to inherit its history. After Minamoto no Yoshitsune had successfully defeated the Taira, his brother Yoritomo had turned against him, and eventually, the entire country became Yoshitsune’s enemy.

Wakatoshi is listed as part of the top 3 high school players in Japan, and is invited to be part of the National Under-19’s. In Miyagi, he is known as “the one to beat”, and there is a target on his back bearing the name _Ushiwaka._

But it does not matter. Whoever it may be, Shiratorizawa will face them head-on.

(“Boar-Warrior or Deer-Warrior is all the same to me,” Yoshitsune had once announced boldly, to friend and foe alike. “To win a war is to push forward, and attack the enemy directly.”)

**

Contrary to popular belief, Wakatoshi does not dislike Minamoto no Yoshitsune.

“He fought for his family,” he says, when asked. “He did not care for matters such as power and positions. He comes without pride. I find that admirable.”

Pride is useless in Wakatoshi’s eyes. Pride matters not in the face of strength.

Perhaps this is the only thing he shares in common with _Ushiwaka._ Amidst the political games played by Yoritomo, Yoshitsune remained loyal, using his incredible strength merely to serve his brother, and honour his family.

Wakatoshi only wants to be strong, and wants to win. He needs nothing else.

**

Wakatoshi is in his third year of high school when he is defeated in qualifiers for the first and last time.

Kurou Yoshitsune had never lost on the battlefield. Shiratorizawa has been undefeated for years; up until now. For the first time, the gymnasium in Sendai learns of this: he is not Ushiwakamaru.

But as the fallen champions make his way to the team bus, the people around them whisper, and the most prevalent word that emerges is “ _Ushiwaka, Ushiwaka, Ushiwaka_ ”.

A name cannot be lost so easily, it seems, even if it is one where his mother’s name is chopped in half and the name his father gave him is chopped in half, and the surviving two halves are stitched together like a marriage doomed to fail. The Gojo Bridge in modern-day Kyoto is not even the same bridge that Yoshitsune and Benkei had fought upon, yet it is still named Gojo Bridge, and there are statues depicting the fateful battle nearby.

Wakatoshi is not Ushiwakamaru, and never has been. But eagles are still kings of the sky, even after they are eaten by crows, and Ushijima Wakatoshi, in the face of defeat, is still known as “Ushiwaka”. The title still remains, a crown on his head and a target on his back, even as he exits the competition, discarded in qualifiers like the two halves of his name that bear no history.

**

The schoolday after Shiratorizawa’s defeat in qualifiers, Wakatoshi sits upright in literature class, and listens to his teacher tell the story of Minamoto no Yoshitsune.

“Yoshitsune lived and died with an overwhelming sense of pride. He fought to restore his family’s pride. He became unfavourable in the eyes of his peers, for he possessed a strong sense of pride in himself. He died by his own hands, for he did not want to be killed by an unworthy man. Yoshitsune’s story can be said to be entirely dictated by pride.”

It seems that pride and childish desire are one and the same. Tendou may have forgiven his immature outburst, but more than ever, Wakatoshi hates the name “Ushiwaka”.

**

No matter how strong the sun is, the waterfall always roars.

As shocking as it is, the defeat in qualifiers does not affect his prospects for the future. Wakatoshi’s accomplishments of the past are not wiped away by a singular loss.

He is scouted by a team in the First Division. He is invited to play in the National Team at senior level.

On the international stage, he is overshadowed easily. The newspapers predict him to be just another failed youth project, amongst the many bright young players who fare poorly overseas, and eventually fade into mediocrity.

Minamoto no Yoshitsune’s life is the epitome of the hero’s parabola. He rises to glory, and dies in vain.

At this point in time, the name “Ushiwaka” seems alike a fortune-telling.

**

A poem reads:-

History repeats itself. Somebody says this.

(But here is what the prophecies get wrong.)

Minamoto no Yoritomo is a cold man. The moment his loyal younger brother fulfils his deeds, he turns to betray him, intending to extinguish every existing threat to his rule.

“I have done everything for our family’s name,” Yoshitsune had pleaded. “Let me meet you face to face, and convince you of my innocence.”

Yoritomo trusted none of those words, and had sent Yoshitsune away to his doom.

Almost nine hundred years later, Utsui Takashi sends an invitation to so-so Japan representative, Ushijima Wakatoshi, to come to America and observe his team.

Here is what the prophecies get wrong. When Yoshitsune outlived his usefulness, his brother had ordered for him to die, but when Wakatoshi struggles to perform on the international stage, his father brings him to his home, and welcomes him in.

**

Under the sunny skies of California, Wakatoshi meets Iwaizumi Hajime, a player he has bested in the past. Iwaizumi buys him a coffee, and advises him on how to improve upon the international stage.

Perhaps, if seen from the eyes of another, Wakatoshi would seem upset that he has to take advice from a player of lesser stature.

But when Minamoto no Yoshitsune had tried to pass the barrier at Ataka, he had put a porter’s luggage upon his own shoulders, and he was beaten with a staff by his own servant. The barrier guard had taken pity on him, and he was allowed to pass through.

“How wretched fate is,” the chorus sang out, as Musashibou Benkei danced across the Kabuki stage. How pitiful that a glorious war general had been reduced to this.

Even so, Yoshitsune had maintained his life. Surely that in itself is fortunate.

Wakatoshi says to himself, a reminder of what he has always known. “I truly am lucky.”

**

(Perhaps from the very beginning, there had never been a prophecy, and here is why.

A poem reads:-

There are many names in history, but none of them are ours.

Minamoto no Yoshitsune came from a glorious family. Almost every name had a story to tell, and Yoshitsune carved his own name into the family tree, the greatest name of all.

But Wakatoshi did not take his father’s name, and does not inherit his mother’s history. The only person he had ever wanted to be like was a person whose name he does not know. An Ace who once played for Shiratorizawa High School, over 190cm, and with a confidence that made his team think he could do anything.)

**

Minamoto no Ushiwaka had thrown away his name, and became Shana-Ou. Shana-Ou had thrown away his name, and became Kurou Yoshitsune, the ninth son of Minamoto Yoshitomo.

Ushijima Wakatoshi is no longer called “Ushiwaka” by many. The only people who do so are mostly those who have known of him since his high school days. He has other names now, such as _Young Cannon_ and _Southpaw_ and _Japan’s Representative, Athlete Ushijima_.

To throw a title away means that you must throw a piece of yourself away. Whether those discarded pieces were loved or despised, is completely up to the one who discards them.

Like piecing together two halves of two names, Wakatoshi takes himself apart and puts himself back together, and repeats the process a thousand times. It is a hesitant process, but throwing himself away becomes easier and easier, until he is left with nothing but his father’s palm upon his left hand, and a purple banner with the words _Be The Strong_ on the surface.

That is all he needs.

Because underneath all those names and titles, songs and stories, there existed Minamoto no Yoshitsune.

Even if Wakatoshi can no longer remain the same person he was in high school, he will still be Ushijima Wakatoshi.

(Ushijima Wakatoshi, at the core of it all, has simply been a super volleyball idiot. No matter how much of himself he throws away, he will never lose himself entirely; for he has always known himself, more than anyone else in the world.)

**

When Wakatoshi meets his new teammate, Hoshiumi Kourai, he is immediately called by “Ushiwaka” – the name Hoshiumi Kourai has called him ever since they had met for the first time in Nationals. Hoshiumi Kourai himself is known as “The Little Giant”, a name that embraces his shortcomings and strengths wholeheartedly.

“It’s a name that I’m proud of,” Hoshiumi Kourai says, eyes shining with determination. It is a name that suits him.

“What about you?” Hirugami Fukurou asks Wakatoshi. “Do you like the name “Ushiwaka”?”

“In the past, I disliked it,” Wakatoshi replies. “But I suppose no longer.”

 _Ushiwaka_ may still remain two names cut into half and glued together like a Spring High Qualifier gone wrong, but the title has long been thrown away, leaving behind nothing but a nickname. Wakatoshi does not mind being called as such. It is a reminder of his past, of the choices that have brought him here.

For Kurou Yoshitsune existed because of Shana-ou, and Shana-Ou existed because of Ushiwakamaru; and Japan’s Largest Cannon exists today because of Tohoku’s Ushiwaka.

Even when titles fade away and are replaced by another, their memories still remain, and it is no surprise that people are inclined to repeat old nicknames. But here is a kinder world, and the person beneath “Ushiwaka” is no longer a tragic general. It is a fortunate son with a bright future.

**

(And now, for one last laugh in the face of prophecy:-

There are many theories as to Yoshitsune’s end. Those with optimistic hearts say that Yoshitsune and Benkei had escaped their cruel fate, and had lived happy lives elsewhere.

This, of course, is fiction. Historical records say otherwise.

But this is what will also be written in history.

Japan Representative, Athelete Ushijima Wakatoshi plays in the Polish League. He is part of the “Generation of Monsters”, and wears the Number One shirt for the Japan Men’s Volleyball Team. A season before the Tokyo Olympics, he appears on “Jounetsu Tairiku” for a feature on his best friend, Tendou Satori.

From Shiratorizawa Middle School, to Shiratorizawa High School; to Schweiden Adlers, and to Orzel Warsaw. The entire country learns of the tale of the Largest Cannon, of Japan’s Ace, of Southpaw Ushijima. A tale of a boy who had pushed forward with determination and self-belief, and pummeled through to become one of the greatest men’s volleyball players in the country.

“I’m sure many young players are inspired by you,” the interviewer says. “They all want to be the next “Ushiwaka”.”

Wakatoshi smiles at that. What a nice compliment.)

**Author's Note:**

> source material: "little beast" by richard siken, chp 5 of "the nobility of failure", "gikeiki", "ataka", "kanjincho"
> 
> i'm thankful wakatoshi was given a kind ending. happy birthday!!


End file.
